I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see...

If there was one word to describe the feeling that i have right now, i would have to simply say "WOW!" Let me explain to you...

As most of you know, i am going on a missions trip to Manaus Brazil in July. I am so excited but nervous at the same time. This trip is forcing me to step out of my "safe" zone into a world that i have never experienced. Even when i found out about the trip the thought of going to Brazil just sounded cool. So i said i would do it, not knowing everything that it would entail or how dangerous this really could be.

The first uncomfortable move...sending out support letters. I am not a fan of asking people for support because i don't want to feel like a nusance. Especially because i feel like i owe people so much already that asking for money is just a hard thing to do. I decided to create my letter in such a way that people don't feel like they have to give, but that they can give in prayer and pray for our team as we prepare to head to South America. So in April, i mailed out 55 letters. Many to friends and family, and to a guy from Church. This guy from Church is very special to me and he is a true servant of God. I wasn't going to send him a letter, mainly because i didn't know him that well at all. We see each other on Sunday mornings when he's greeting and he makes fun of me for taking Derik coffee and likes to give me a hard time...so i usually give it right back. One morning Derik and i were talking to him and i just felt God give me this nudge to step out of my comfort zone and get his address to send him a letter. Alright God, i hear you. So i asked for his address...turns out he was going on a missions trip to so he asked for prayer...and so did I.

Well, the weeks and months have been passing and these support letters start coming in slowly but surely. I had raised quite a bit of money and was told that if i stayed at that amount it would be ok, i hit my goal for June 1 by the last week in may, praise God!

Then comes the other stuff to prepare...buying supplies to head down there with and what not. Well...i am an idiot and decided to watch the episode of Survivorman on the discovery channel where he stayed in the Amazon, something that we are going to be doing; spending a night in a hammock in the middle of the rain forest. Am i excited? Yes...am i freaking out? YES! After watching that and the stuff that can happen, i get super nervous and i wasn't sure if this was something i was ready for...but i fought hard and prayed hard to ignore satan's attack.

So then there is the issue of shots. Now, i have not had to get shots for years...i think High School might have been the last time. So i need to get some updated boosters and then some new shots to travel. Alright, i was told by the Missions dept at Heritage the shots would be around $90 for everything and i'll be good. That was a funny joke. Passport Health (the company that came and administered our shots) sent out their recommendations on vaccinations for the trip, as well as the price for each shot. Here are their recommendations...Tetanus, Hepatitus A, Hepatitus B, Rabies, Typhoid, Yellow Fever and malaria pills. Grand total---$1050!!! UMMM, what happened to the $90?? So, i start calling my doctor and my insurance company. I don't need Hep B because i got that in HS and it's a lifetime shot...Tetanus my insurance will cover. So now i'm down to about $500. Hepatitus A i can get at my doctor so that will be covered...so now i'm down to about $250, we're getting better. Rabies they won't give you unless you've been bit by something...$205. Then my insurance company informed me that they will reimburse me for the other shots because i have an HRA through my work and the funds can come out of that. Cost for shots...$20 for the consultation fee. So the past few days i have been getting all my vaccines and it's been great fun.

Passport Health showed a video when they came for the orientation and you are lucky they allow you to breathe with everything that they want you to do or not do while down there. It's stressful. So i start having those feelings of I don't want to go anymore. And it's depressing but satan was working hard.

This morning i woke up and it's rainy, and i keep having those anxious feelings about not going to Brazil. I will be nervous the entire time and not have any fun. God had another plan. Remember the nudge i talked about earlier to ask for support...well God pointed it out that HE WANTS ME TO GO. I checked my mailbox for the first time all week and i had two letters in there, one of which was from the angel at the front door. I decided not to open the letters until i got to work because it's rainy outside and i don't want to get in an accident...or the Holy Spirit was saying i need to be sitting down before i open the letter. So i get to work, pull out the letter opener and opened it ever so slowly. Then the phone rings, so i answer and chat to the customer for a minute then get back to opening the letter. Oh but wait, my McDonalds Yogurt Parfait is sitting in front of me, so i better take a bite. And my coffee, i need a drink of it. ok, back to the letter. I pulled it out and i see a 5 so i'm thinking how awesome! He sent me $5 that was nice of him and what a servant. And then i take another bite and God yelled "YO, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AND THEN THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND PRAISE!!" So i take another look and the five was followed by two zeros. $500. This guy that i don't really know all that well, that God nudged me to send a letter to sent me $500. Not only did this take care of the rest of my funds but it also affirmed that God wants me on this trip because i'm going to make a difference. I'm in shock and so thankful and blessed to have God in my life and for him bringing me to all these wonderful people.

Just when i thought that I didn't want to go, God intervened. He is amazing in that way. Praise him for everything, in everything you do because no matter what, he intervenes. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it doesn't seem fair, but he does it because he loves us.

I cannot wait to share more with you about the preparations for the trip as well as the after math. I know now i am truly doing Gods work and i cannot wait. All of my fears about going are gone and I cannot express my excitement!! I just ask for prayers for strength and courage and i know God will take care of the rest. I love you all!!!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" James 1:17